Rumor – Filmmaker Woody Allen allegedly wrote a text about modern antisemitism, life in New York, and salmon consumption.
Analysis
A chronicle filled with fine irony, references to Jewish culture, existential crises, and set in the streets of Manhattan and Brooklyn has begun to spread widely across social media and messaging apps. The long text is attributed to filmmaker and writer Woody Allen. In the message, the alleged author mixes dark humor, urban neuroses, Jewish references, and criticism of modern antisemitism in a style that strongly resembles the monologues and films of the American director.
The narrative draws attention precisely because it carries very specific trademarks of one of the world’s most well-known cinema figures. The neurotic tone, the obsession with mortality, and the fixation on the New York identity caused thousands of internet users to share the material as a legitimate reflection by the director. Below, you can check out the full content being shared online:
You know, I’ve always thought the greatest advantage of New York is that you can be neurotic there and nobody will notice. In other cities, they send you to a psychiatrist if you talk to yourself. In Manhattan, they offer you a column in a magazine because of it. Yesterday I went to buy salmon. By the way, that’s probably the only stable Jewish tradition that survived Babylon, Rome, and my relationships with women. I was walking through the streets of Brooklyn and thinking about death. And suddenly — a crowd in front of a synagogue. At first, I thought a famous psychoanalyst was performing there. Overall, modern antisemitism has become much more intellectual. In the old days, they just hated us.
Straightforwardly. Today it’s no longer like that. Today, a guy with a scarf, who looks like he writes poems about his own beard, explains to you using Heidegger and Nietzsche why the very existence of Jews is a form of violence and a threat to humanity. Then a girl next to me said: ‘We are against Zionism, not against Jews.’ That’s like my ex-wife saying: ‘I have nothing against you. I’m just against everything you say, do, feel — and especially against sleeping with you.’ The meaning remains the same. And then someone shouted: ‘Zionists are Nazis!’ At that moment, I felt my grandmother turn over in her grave so fast she could have provided electricity to half of Queens.
At night, I lay in bed and thought: maybe we just shouldn’t give humanity free time. Because the moment people get bored, they start saving the world, or killing each other, or recording podcasts about the health benefits of war. And yet… if tomorrow someone marches in front of a synagogue and shouts ‘Death to Zionists’ — I’m going out. Not because I’m brave. I’m the guy who once fainted getting a blood test. But well… first I’m going to eat my salmon. I don’t want to die on an empty stomach. My Jewish mother would never approve of such a thing.” P.S. After this brilliant text, I began to better understand the value of the birthday gift of the collection of Woody Allen’s main films.
Fact-Check
To deeply understand the origin of this text and verify its veracity, we will structure our investigation by answering three fundamental questions in detail: 1) Did Woody Allen write a text about antisemitism and say that New York’s advantage is being able to be neurotic? 2) Who is the author of the text about antisemitism attributed to Woody Allen? 3) Are there similar fake news stories out there?
Did Woody Allen write a text about antisemitism and say that New York’s advantage is being able to be neurotic?
No. The American filmmaker did not write this chronicle, nor did he publish any recent text containing these statements in newspapers, magazines, or books. Although the literary style closely attempts to emulate the classic monologues of his characters and his usual themes, his signature was artificially attached when the content began to go viral.
The very end of the message circulating online provides an important clue, functioning as a postscript that praises the authorship and mentions receiving a collection of the director’s works. With the massive sharing and superficial reading typical of social networks, the mention of his name ended up turning into a false attribution of authorship.
Who is the author of the text about antisemitism attributed to Woody Allen?
So far, there is no confirmation regarding who originally wrote the text. It is considered apocryphal, meaning it has no proven authorship. In many cases like this, texts are created by anonymous users, translated between languages, and later attributed to famous writers, filmmakers, or religious leaders.
The reason for the association with Woody Allen is relatively simple: the text mimics well-known characteristics of the director. There are constant references to Judaism, life in New York, personal neuroses, and intellectualized humor — trademarks that are heavily present in the filmmaker’s body of work.
Are there similar fake news stories out there?
Yes, the phenomenon of using the names of highly prestigious writers, poets, filmmakers, and even religious leaders to validate texts on the internet is extremely common. This device is used to grant authority and engagement to everyday reflections or political stances that otherwise would not achieve such wide reach.
Examples of this behavior in the misinformation ecosystem are plenty. Fact-checkers have debunked similar situations in the literary world before, showing that Pablo Neruda did not write the New Year’s text titled “The years I have left”. In the same way, Catholic Church leaders are frequently targeted by this practice, as in the case where it was falsely claimed that Pope Francis wrote a text about life passing by quickly. Another curious case involved distant historical figures, where messages claimed that Pope Leo XIV said he was angry with God, proving that the creation of apocryphal texts attributed to authorities is a constant on the internet.
Conclusion
The text circulating that associates reflections on modern antisemitism, salmon, and New York neurosis with Woody Allen does not belong to the filmmaker. It is an internet chronicle that became incorrectly linked to his name due to the similar narrative style.
Fake news ❌
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